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Take charge of your health! Schedule a consultation with Dr. Lynn and start your journey today. Call or text or click on the link below. That is because in my gynecology and sexual medicine practice, I see women every day who tell me they have lost their sex drive.

Some women are desperately missing it. Others tell me they would be completely happy if they never had to have sex again in their entire life. Had to have it? Where do our 20 something sex drives go as we age? Why do we lose them and most importantly, how do we get them back? Over time, we tend to settle down, have children, lead busy lives and our children become our main priority, right?

Sex lives become stale, boring, and we succumb to you guessed it- Duty Sex. Duty sex is the sex we have because our partner wants it and we do it to fulfill their needs, not ours. Is it rip-roaring, bed-banging, need you NOW sex? Not at all! It is hurry up and get it over with sex. Our partner has needs right? But what are we, as women, getting out of duty sex? Intimacy and closeness, maybe. Not so much. So we skip it, and from our standpoint, the sex is not so great. Next time, we want to do it even less, and the sex is even less great.

You get the point. Our drive tanks because in order to want to have sex, it has to be sex worth wanting!! Low libido is almost never due to just one thing, like duty sex. When I see my patients, I do a complete and detailed history to uncover anything that might remotely be contributing to low drive. I ask about depression, anxiety, medicines, pain during sex, communication and relationship problems, body image, what your family taught you about sex, history of sexual trauma, partner sexual dysfunction like erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation.

I know I am being heteronormative here, but the majority of my patients are in heterosexual relationships. The list is long. But is there treatment or should I just give up? There is treatment. My general approach to treatment is to first educate women about what is normal. Many of us operate under certain assumptions about how sex should be, how we should be and how much sex we should want. What is normal for one relationship is different from what is normal for another. Second, we discuss how to mitigate all the contributing factors.

For example, if the antidepressant someone is on is contributing to low libido, we discuss possibly changing it. If the relationship needs some help, maybe some counseling is in order. I generally recommend a good regimen of erotic reading if a patient is open to it.

The idea behind erotic reading on a regular basis is to get those neurons in the brain that think sexual thoughts firing again and again and again. Those neurons may be out of shape, so to speak. So go ahead, pick up that smutty novel, and exercise your erotic brain. There are medicines that are not FDA approved for women, like testosterone, that have been shown in scientific studies to improve low sex drive in women.

They work in a variety of ways. Each one has its own set of risks, benefits and side effects. One may work for one woman and not for her sister or best friend. None of them will give a woman the sex drive of a 15 year old boy reliably and usually not at all. But for a percentage of women they work! And a good sex sex life is important to a relationship and to overall well-being. Sexual harmony so to speak! Stay tuned for my next blog with more information on medicines.

As many of you know, I am a gynecologist who specializes in sexual problems in women. My office is located in St. Louis, Missouri where I see patients. If you need an exam, we can coordinate with your local doctor. The E stands for education. All women deserve to be know! Make an appointment today! Check out my website today for more information. Or call to make your appointment today! About Us. Concierge Care. Conditions we treat. How It Works. Meet Dr. Meet the Team. Weight Loss. Femilift Vaginal Laser.

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Lecture Series. Schedule an appointment. . Jan 1. Becky Lynn. When does sex drive peak? What is duty sex? Leave a comment.

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